


Forty-Five Steps in the Same Direction

by queenofquiet17



Series: Letting Love Be [1]
Category: Will & Grace
Genre: Canon Bisexual Character, F/F, Hotel Sex, Lesbian Sex, Will & Grace Revival, a bit of angst, a bit of hope, a bit of smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-21
Updated: 2020-01-21
Packaged: 2021-02-27 04:54:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 22,681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22351408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queenofquiet17/pseuds/queenofquiet17
Summary: “Why’d you ask me to come on this trip with you?”Grace ran her fingers through Karen’s hair, unable to speak anything other than the truth. “I didn’t want to be here without you.” She took a beat, wondering why after everything, she was still nervous to hear Karen’s answers to her questions. “Why did you agree to come with me?”Karen didn’t even hesitate. “I didn’t want to stay there without you.”When Grace is asked to speak at a design conference in Los Angeles, she doesn't think twice about asking Karen to come along. But once they're there, far away from Will and Jack's opinions, nothing holds them back from acting on how they truly feel about each other.
Relationships: Grace Adler/Karen Walker
Series: Letting Love Be [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1608952
Comments: 18
Kudos: 58





	1. Now

**Author's Note:**

> I wasn't planning on writing this, let alone breaking 20k with it, and yet here we are. Thank you so much to my Bookworm, [disgruntledkittenface](https://archiveofourown.org/users/disgruntledkittenface), for the flails and validation when I was convinced that this time, I had really gone off the rails. I love when you shout at me, but most of all, I love you.
> 
> This is the first part of a two-part series, with the second part hopefully coming soon. ["Perfect Goodbye"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1c5QdCFZ3E0) by Celine Dion fueled this one; lyrics from the song are featured in bold during chapter two.

_Now_

She didn’t want to walk through that door. If she walked through the door, it would be over, back to a reality where nothing had happened and no one would believe her if she tried to tell them otherwise. Even though that was the point. Even though she knew they would have never taken it that far without the safety net of their blissfully unaware friends waiting for them back home. Even though she agreed to this fate. But she would have agreed to anything just to feel Karen’s hands on her.

In fact, Karen seemed to know that about her before she did.

Grace could still hear Will’s confusion and judgment when she told him she was taking Karen with her on this work trip. Maybe if the dark haired woman was a little more competent in the workplace, it would make a little more sense. Maybe if she ever bothered to pick up more than her martini glass and contribute to the office. Maybe if she learned anything about interior design by watching Grace work for twenty years and could actually offer up any kind of valid opinion. Maybe then, Will could understand. But Karen never did any of those things (at least, not that he ever saw). And he thought it would only do more harm than good when Grace was already nervous about the trip.

She didn’t bother telling him that the second she agreed to speak at this conference about the chain of boutique hotels she just designed, she knew she needed Karen for support. She needed that blunt opinion to keep her in check, that unusual vote of confidence to keep her from chickening out, those eyes on her that let her know she could focus on her assistant when she got too tongue-tied by the sea of designers hanging on to her every word, and she could pretend like they were the only two people in the room. It would take too much effort to get him to see what she actually did for her. And Grace just didn’t have the energy. But there was no way around it; she needed Karen.

She just didn’t realize all the ways she needed Karen.

Until now.

Grace took a deep breath, immediately regretting it as she caught the faintest scent of gardenia that had trailed behind Karen after her assistant disappeared across the hall to decompress with Jack. For a fleeting moment, she wondered if Karen was going to say anything to him, almost put her ear to 9A’s door to listen for her name nestled in between their laughter and gossip, before realizing that she had never known Karen Walker to ever break a promise to her (that is, whenever Karen Walker thought to make a promise). For a fleeting moment, she thought about barging into Jack’s apartment, taking Karen by the hand and telling her that she didn’t want to be here if it meant being here without her. But instead, she sighed those fleeting moments out of her system, softly opened the door to her own home, and wheeled her suitcase inside while she braced herself for Will’s inevitable questions.

Except Will was nowhere to be found.

This was good. This was perfect. As much as she loved her best friend, she just wasn’t ready to talk to him about her trip. She knew he was expecting to hear about the conference, about how much better the weather was in Los Angeles and how much she detested coming back to the bitter chill of this New York winter. She knew he was expecting to hear about the sights, about giving in to being a tourist when she spent so much of her time at home complaining about them. She knew he was expecting to hear about the talk she gave and how it went, about whether or not Karen was the same kind of deadweight assistant there that she was in the office. And she knew that she wouldn’t have the answers he was looking for.

Because it wasn’t like she could tell him that she never once left the hotel and couldn’t really say what the weather in Los Angeles was like compared to home. She barely remembered how the talk went, or the names and faces of the other interior designers she met and spoke with during the few minutes she forced herself to be the networking professional she planned on being. And as far as the sights, she absolutely saw some; they just weren’t the kind Will would want to hear about. Like the way Karen’s silk robe would fall the slightest bit open no matter how tightly she tied the belt, or the way she would hold it together whenever she got out of bed to let room service in like she refused to let anyone other than Grace see how stunning she looked underneath. Like the light in Karen’s eyes when she truly takes you in and studies you, or the way her hands travel the curves of your body like she’s known them all along, even when it’s the first time she ever touched you like that (especially when it’s the first time she ever touched you like that). Like the way her features turn in ecstasy. Like the way she makes you feel like this moment is more than enough, because she makes this moment feel like it’s going to last forever.

It wasn’t like Grace could tell him that Karen was vibrant, thoughtful, attentive, gentle. It wasn’t like she could tell him that Karen made sure she had everything she ever wanted or needed.

It wasn’t like she could tell him that Karen was the best part of the trip.

But she didn’t have to tell him. She didn’t have to say anything. It was late enough. He’s probably been asleep for a couple hours now. She could leave her suitcase by the door, take off her shoes so her heels didn’t click against the hardwood, tiptoe to her bedroom and sleep her way to a plan B. She didn’t have that far to go. She could crawl into bed before he even realized she was back. She could...

“I thought I heard someone out here. Welcome back.”

Shit.

Grace met Will’s gaze, saw the way his smile grew bigger as he moved closer and pulled her into a sleepy hug. She could feel how stiff she was in his arms and hoped to god he was too tired to notice. “Hey,” she said softly, trying her best to hide the disappointment in her voice. “What are you doing up? I thought you’d be asleep by now.”

“I was, kind of. But I guess I couldn’t wait until morning to see you.”

Later on, she would feel bad about this. She would feel bad about wanting to push away his warm welcome, about wishing his arms were someone else’s. She would feel bad about wishing she had never come back home to New York, or that she had thrown away their promise and told Karen to take her home with her. But now, Grace was desperate to get him out of her way, wanting nothing more than to crawl into bed and will the West Coast to take over her dreams. She’d apologize in the morning if he noticed the way her impatience won out; she’d pretend it never happened if he didn’t. “Sweetie, it’s late,” she said, barely above a whisper, even though she wasn’t quite sure who she was keeping quiet for anymore. “You should go back to bed.” She tried to make a move for her bedroom, actually made it a few paces before she felt his gentle grasp on her arm, holding her back.

“Oh, come on, I haven’t heard from you in three days, you’ve got to give me something!” he said as playfully as someone could so late at night. “Did you nail your talk? Did you network?” Grace could see the way he started to smirk as he asked his final question. “Did having Karen around give you as much hell as I think it did?”

Grace’s heart skipped a beat at the sound of her name. She knew it was just their dynamic, just the way Will and Karen pushed each other, even when they weren’t around each other, even though it was all done out of love. But after everything that happened over the last few days, after knowing every last bit of Karen in that hotel room, she just couldn’t stand the way he talked about her. It was strange, wanting so fiercely to protect someone who was always so adamant about being able to protect herself. But she couldn’t help it; he didn’t know her the way she did.

“No, Karen…” Grace trailed off as she realized she was about to give it all away. Because what exactly could she say right now? Karen gave her heaven? Karen gave her life? Karen showed her everything that had been missing, everything she didn’t know to miss, everything she knew she could never stop craving? She couldn’t tell him that. Not now. Maybe not ever; what good could it possibly do to keep reliving something she could never have again? So instead, she untangled the only words she could think to give him from the jumbled mess of her mind, hoping they would be enough.

“Karen was fine.”

Will’s eyes narrowed, and her heart sank; she was a terrible liar when she lied to him, and she should have known that he would see right through her. “You sure?” he asked, a hint of concern in his voice that only agitated the nerves kicking around in Grace’s core. “‘Cause that wasn’t very convincing. Did something happen over there?”

Maybe he realized just how loaded a question that was. Maybe he had no clue. But it didn’t matter what his intentions were; she couldn’t answer him, even if she wanted to. Because he had just thrown her back into the memory of Los Angeles, of the hotel room and the warmth of Karen’s skin and the way her assistant completely took her by surprise (god, she loved diving into that surprise). He had thrown her back into cocktails at the bar downstairs and promises she’d swore she’d keep because the day she’d have to start keeping them felt so far away. He had thrown her back into the night she dared to take Karen’s hand and walked those forty-five steps to her truth. She let herself sink into it, let herself linger. She let herself forget that Will was even there.

Because she was going to stay in it for as long as she possibly could.


	2. Then

_**“Forty-five steps in the same direction** _   
_**Just take my hand, don’t ask no questions** _   
_**Don’t need to understand if God’s got a plan** _   
_**It’s out of our hands anyway”** _

_Then_

Grace couldn’t decide what was stranger: Karen jumping at the chance to take this work trip to Los Angeles with her, or Karen insisting on paying for the whole thing, private plane and all. It was an unexpected, excessive, slightly alarming burst of generosity on her assistant’s part, and she would have put her foot down to stop it all...if it weren’t for the promise of an obviously never ending supply of champagne--it _was_ Karen’s plane, after all--and a six and a half hour flight full of leg room and free from screaming children. Still, she couldn’t help but feel a little guilty. She invited Karen for her own selfish reasons, knowing that if she started to chicken out over the thought of speaking in front of a room full of the country’s best interior designers, her assistant could do...whatever the hell it was she did to make her feel better (Grace honestly wasn’t sure what Karen’s magic trick was, but it worked every time, and she wasn’t about to question it now). And now to have Karen throw it all on her platinum card? It wasn’t the most professional thing in the world.

Then again, professionalism had never really been their thing.

She was fine on the plane, even though she hated to fly. She was fine on the ride to the hotel, even though Karen kept yelling at the traffic from the back seat of the car the entire time. It wasn’t until they actually reached the hotel where the conference was being held that the nerves kicked into overdrive. She could feel them crashing into each other harder and harder, the closer to the front desk they got. And she couldn’t believe that Karen wasn’t noticing how quickly the walls were closing in around them. Who the hell _was_ Grace, anyway? What authority could she possibly have to speak to all of these established designers when Grace Adler Designs was the smallest of small operations? Just because she got her client on board with her dumb idea to fill fifteen boutique hotels with custom made furniture the guests could buy online after their stay didn’t mean she had anything meaningful to say to these people. Just because the organizers of this conference thought it was an innovative idea didn’t mean anyone else would. And Grace was convinced that no one else would. This whole trip was pointless, she was sure of it. They needed to get out of here, and they needed to do it now.

“I can’t do this,” she mumbled to herself, leaning against the desk while Karen checked them in, convinced she was going to turn this presentation into a disaster. It wasn’t too late; she could stop them from giving them their key, call a car, and race back to Karen’s plane. There was still a chance to escape.

Until Karen shut it down completely.

“Whaddya talk? Of course you can,” the dark haired woman murmured as she searched her wallet for her card.

No. This wasn’t something she could just casually bat down and be done with it. Not when Grace felt so much like an imposter here that it was impossible to move. “Karen, what the hell gives me the right to stand up there and brag about myself?”

“Gracie, you have no trouble bragging about yourself back home. What’s the difference if you do it here?”

The way she said it so casually made Grace’s jaw drop. “Are you serious?! Do you understand how big of an opportunity this is? This is a crazy amount of exposure, and if I make even one mistake, it’s going to follow me for the rest of my career! God, I don’t even belong here, I’m like a guppy in an ocean out here, there is no way I’m--”

“Bup-bup-bup!” Karen held her hand up to stop the redhead and sighed. “Listen. I’m sensing this spiral’s gonna keep going for a while, so here’s what we’re gonna do.” She slid a key card across the desk to her boss. “You take that and drop your suitcase off in your room. I’ll be at the bar while Bellhop here takes my stuff up to my room. When you’re ready, you just spiral on down and have a drink with me, okay? It’ll get you to stop spinning, I promise.”

“I doubt it, but okay,” Grace conceded. She picked up the key card with a furrowed brow. “You booked two rooms instead of one?”

“Honey, I don’t share.”

And with that, Karen was gone.

When she got to her room, Grace wheeled her suitcase inside and threw herself on the bed, frustrated with how she felt about Karen putting so much space between them. Sure, she wasn’t expecting to share a cramped room with her. She wasn’t expecting to share a bed, although it wouldn’t be the first time they did. Knowing Karen, she booked the best suite she could, refusing to even entertain the thought of anything less. But Grace thought she would be sharing the best suite with her, and she felt her disappointment weigh her entire body down. She didn’t care about the room upgrade. She just wanted to be near Karen. When she was near Karen, everything truly felt like it was going to be okay.

That feeling was always there, starting with that nerve wracking design showcase in ‘99 and the drug addled lullaby Karen started singing to take her mind off of what she was certain was her inevitable failure. It made her calm down. It made her refocus her energy. She was convinced it made her win that day. And from then on, she relied on her assistant for that extra push. She made sure she scheduled her meetings with new clients during times that fell outside Karen’s typical three-hour lunch breaks. She always reconsidered the sketches she crumpled up and tossed to the side if Karen was curious enough to flatten them out again and call her crazy for trashing them. Because Karen always seemed to be right. And she always seemed to keep the world from crumbling around them.

Lately, that feeling started to go beyond Grace’s usual professional reasons. Lately, after they went their separate ways for the night, it felt like a fundamental piece of her was missing in Karen’s absence. Lately, the caffeine rush from her latte wasn’t the only thing jolting her awake in the mornings; the way her body lit up whenever she saw Karen walking through the door of Grace Adler Designs gave her more adrenaline than she knew what to do with. She craved it, she was addicted. But Karen always came through with the fix. She could tell herself that she asked her assistant to come out to L.A. with her to make sure she didn’t sabotage herself at this conference; it didn’t change the fact that she mainly did it to keep Karen close to her, to keep that feeling close to her.

It wasn’t something she wanted to live without. She never thought to question why. But she tried not to think about what it meant for her, to need this woman by her side so that she could thrive.

Eventually, she got up from the bed and checked herself in the mirror, ran a brush through her hair and decided she looked presentable enough for a cocktail with her assistant. She wasn’t surprised in the slightest when she made it to the bar and found that Karen was already two martinis in. But she _was_ surprised by the new set of nerves that started fluttering to life when the dark haired woman met her gaze and smiled like she was excited to see her.

Just add it to the list of strange things this trip was bringing about.

“It’s about time!” Karen chirped as she patted the stool next to her, motioning for Grace to take it. And as soon as Grace did, she wrapped the redhead’s hand in hers, setting off a spark that seemed to come out of nowhere. It jolted her so much, she couldn’t believe Karen didn’t feel it, too. “Pick your poison, honey.”

Grace locked eyes with the nearby bartender, trying not to think too much about the way Karen’s thumb instantly started caressing her hand in a move she was sure was meant to be soothing, but only turned up the dial on what she was feeling. “I will take the biggest whiskey ginger you can give me,” she managed, stone-faced and deadly serious. She watched as the bartender moved to fix her drink before burying her head in her arms on the bar. “This conference is going to be a disaster,” she groaned, her words muffled.

Karen gave her hand a small squeeze, “Oh, come on, it is not,” she countered. “You’re making this way more complicated than it has to be, Grace.”

Grace lifted her head to face Karen, finding a fresh drink in front of her in the process. “I’m gonna be speaking in front of the rockstars of the design world, when I’m...I’m nobody. There is no way this ends well.”

She drew a long sip from her drink, feeling Karen’s eyes laser focused on her. “Okay, first of all, you’re not a nobody,” the dark haired woman said. “They wouldn’t have invited you to speak if you were nobody. And second...good lord, this isn’t as hard as you’re making it out to be. I mean, you already sold the idea once. Just do whatever you did to get the client on board, and you’re golden.”

“Karen, I essentially pimped Will out to get the client on board, I can’t really do that here.”

“You sure, honey? ‘Cause Pilot could make a quick round trip to New York after he refuels.”

There it was. That twinkle in Karen’s eye as her joke hit the air. The way it tugged at the corners of Grace’s mouth even though she tried like hell to wallow in her anxiousness and self-pity. The way Karen inevitably coaxed a laugh out of her. Swooping in to save the day like always, making whatever was on the horizon seem a little better. It was incredible how easy Karen made it look; it would never stop amazing Grace. “There’s my girl,” Karen singsonged, brushing her touch along the redhead’s cheek with what Grace swore felt like pride. “Now, listen to me. You got the client on board because you had a solid idea. And you turned that idea into something great. And this conference...Gracie, this is the victory lap. This is where you get the recognition you deserve. You have every right to stand up there and brag about yourself and what you did. So just do it.”

There were times when Karen became so overwhelmingly genuine that it completely threw Grace for a loop, even when it was exactly what she wanted. She knew her assistant wasn’t big on showing emotion, on letting people in, on putting all of her cards on the table. She knew that if it happened to you, you meant the world to this woman. And she couldn’t stop the rush of emotion that came with knowing what she meant to Karen. She let the lull in their conversation cover them, unsure of what to say, knowing that whatever would have come out of her mouth in that instant would have ruined the moment anyway. She watched Karen drain her martini as she let her own drink fill her, realizing she could watch Karen like this for the rest of her days and be completely satisfied. This was what she wished Will could see, whenever he couldn’t understand why she would ever bring Karen along with her to one of these things.

Then again, it was so special that it should probably be kept to herself. She couldn’t stand the thought of anyone tarnishing this. And she didn’t care if that made her selfish.

“Did you really mean that?” Grace finally managed in response, just wanting to say something that would make the sound of Karen’s voice come back to her.

“Of course I did, honey.”

“No, not what you just said. I mean before. When you said I wasn’t a nobody.”

“Gracie...you’ve known me for twenty years. You should know by now that I only associate myself with the best.” Karen moved in a little closer, allowing Grace to smell the gardenia on her skin, mixing with the whiskey in her system and making her head swim. “You need to learn how to give yourself more credit,” she murmured, a fire in her eyes that made Grace want to burn.

It would be so easy to kiss her right now. Lean in a little more, part her lips just the slightest bit. Brush them against Karen’s. Feel the electricity she always felt whenever they kissed, whether it was in jest or to prove some odd point. Although she was pretty sure the electricity would be stronger this time; she couldn’t exactly say why. But Grace was convinced that the second she got a taste of Karen this time, it would be all over. After two decades of lingering touches, of playful teasing, of redefining platonic friendship until they couldn’t call themselves platonic no matter how hard they tried, it all became too much to ignore. All she needed was an opportunity like this to dive all the way in and never let her head get above water again. She just wasn’t sure if this was the right place, the right time. She wasn’t sure just how much of this Karen felt, too. And she didn’t want to make the rest of this trip uncomfortable because she couldn’t help herself from going a little too far.

Maybe it was better to stop now, before she did something she couldn’t come back from.

“I think maybe I should go back upstairs,” Grace said reluctantly, almost a whisper as she slowly pulled back a bit. “I should practice my speech a little bit before it gets to be too late.”

She could have sworn she saw Karen’s stare falter a bit, almost like she was disappointed. But as quickly as she faltered, the dark haired woman recovered. “I guess you’re right,” she said, digging into her purse and throwing a few bills down on the bar. “Come on, I’ll walk you to your room.”

They made their way to the elevator and up to their floor in silence, letting the chorus of Grace’s regret ring endlessly in her ears. Dammit, she should have kissed her. She should have taken the risk. She could have blamed it on the whiskey if it got awkward, even if she only did have one drink; she was a total lightweight compared to Karen, and they both knew it. And even if it was a thin excuse, Karen would have pretended like it was solid, and they could have moved on, could have put this moment on the shelf with the other kisses, other caresses, other instances of crossing their indistinguishable lines. But if it didn’t get awkward...Jesus. Grace didn’t even want to think about what she missed out on by not taking that chance.

Who knew when a moment like that would come again?

“This is you, right?” Karen’s voice pulled Grace out of her head and back into reality, the redhead surprised to find that they were outside of her hotel room. Grace nodded, reaching into her purse for her key card, unable to look Karen straight in the eye as she pulled the card out and held it in her hand, not wanting to go inside but not knowing what else to do. Until Karen gave her another chance.

“Well, I guess I’ll let you practice. But, you know...if you want an audience...or if you need me for anything...I’m right down the hall.”

There you go, Grace. This was what you wanted. Another window. Another opportunity. Don’t waste this one. Don’t pile regret on top of regret. She’s starting to walk away. If you’re going to do something, you better do it now.

“Wait.”

Karen stopped in her tracks as Grace’s voice echoed through the hall, pausing for a moment before turning to face her boss. Even in the dimly lit hallway, Karen glowed like a beacon, like she was calling Grace home. Neither one of them broke the silence that fell over them; Grace because she couldn’t find the words, Karen because she didn’t want to break the spell (or, at least, that’s what the redhead hoped). For a second, Grace wasn’t even sure if she could move; she felt frozen in place, too stunned by the way Karen so quickly stuck to her word. Because Karen was there for her. She always was. And Grace was convinced she always would be.

But part of her wanted to test how far Karen would go with her. If it had been anyone else, she wouldn’t have dared to push those boundaries. But Karen had no boundaries. They could go anywhere, as long as they both wanted to. And Grace couldn’t explain it, but _god,_ she didn’t care; she wanted to go wherever Karen took her.

Starting with her hotel suite.

Grace reached to catch Karen’s hand in hers, weaving their fingers together before lifting her head to meet her assistant’s gaze. She saw the way Karen’s lips twitched into a smile, how that smile made her glow even brighter. She felt the way Karen immediately tightened her hold as she led her down the hall. She felt the way her heart picked up its pace with each step.

And she was filled with the feeling that she was on her way to something incredible.

**********

Forty-five steps. That was how far it was from Grace’s room to Karen’s. Grace counted.

She didn’t try to count the steps; it just happened. Her mind needed a distraction from the nervousness that overwhelmed her, the nervousness she kept trying to blame on her impending talk, even though she knew she should be blaming it on the way Karen was steadily taking over her thoughts, the way Karen’s touch was starting to make her melt before they even made it to the suite. She knew there was a chance she was reading too much into this; she knew there was a chance she would get burned. But the possibility of Karen was too much to turn away. And Grace knew if she didn’t follow her heart now, she wouldn’t be able to live with herself.

She would ease into it. Play like she needed to practice her speech for tomorrow (which, in all honesty, she did). She had the index cards in her purse, like she was prepared for this before she even realized this was an option. She could pull it off. And if it led down the path she desperately wanted to walk, so be it. It was out of her hands.

Karen opened the door to her suite and automatically went for the mini bar, pulling a tiny, perfectly chilled bottle of gin from it and motioning towards the redhead. “Another drink?” she asked, shrugging as Grace shook her head no before she opened the bottle and downed it in one shot. She made her way over to the couch in the living area and sat down, giving all of her attention to her boss. “Alright, honey. Lay it on me.”

 _What?_ Did Grace hear that right? She opened her mouth to speak, trying to force a word or two out and getting nowhere. It was just so...forward. Not that she really expected anything less; Karen Walker was nothing if not incredibly to the point. But the way they seemed to be dancing around it at the bar made it feel like that was the game they both wanted to play. Grace wasn’t prepared to just go for it. Not yet. Not when she was still so nervous that it could go wrong. She had no idea what to do now.

Karen saw the way Grace froze, her features twisting in concern. “Uhhh, Gracie? Your speech? Weren’t you gonna practice your speech?”

Oh. Right. The speech.

Grace shook the confusion out of her head and searched in her purse for her index cards, nearly fumbling them out of order in the process. She knew her voice would shake if she tried to speak now, so she took a couple of deep breaths to steady herself. And then she let it all out. She never once shifted her gaze from her cards, reading straight through and too fast, barely taking breaths in between, trying not to think about Karen’s eyes on her. If she thought about that, she knew she would stumble, completely lose her place, become even more flustered than she already was. And then she would have to explain herself. She wasn’t sure she had the words to explain herself.

She made it to the last card after what felt like forever, unceremoniously brought her speech to a close, and shut her eyes to brace herself for Karen’s critique. Because of course there would be one. The woman never had an indifferent opinion on anything. It was one of the things that completely enamored Grace to her, even when the redhead was in the line of fire. She just wasn’t sure how stable she was to endure it now.

“Grace, it’s wonderful.”

The redhead’s eyes snapped open. “It is?” she asked in disbelief.

“Yes! Honey, I told you that you had nothing to worry about.” Karen held out her hand for Grace to take and led her to the spot next to her on the couch. “You’re going to be fine up there tomorrow. You’re fine right now.” And then, in a more hushed tone, “You don’t need to be so nervous.”

She knew. She had to. That change in her voice gave it all away, like she was trying to coax the truth out into the open. But she wasn’t going to make it easy on Grace. She was going to draw it out as long as she could. She made no move to let go of Grace’s hand. And Grace wasn’t about to budge. Grace wanted Karen’s touch on her skin, wanted to memorize the way it felt, the softness, the thrill, the warmth. She wanted to feel it travel every inch of her skin. But that wasn’t going to happen unless she did something.

“I...I don’t know how to stop being nervous,” she whispered.

Karen studied her for a moment before letting a kind-hearted smirk play across her face. “Just do what you want to do,” she murmured. “It’ll be okay, I promise.”

In that instant, Grace could see the way the light bounced off the look in Karen’s eyes, pulling her in, giving her the all clear. “It…” she stumbled again at first before she found her footing. “It’s more like...what I want _you_ to do.”

The dark haired woman tilted her head ever so slightly, her gaze dropping to Grace’s lips. “So, maybe something like this…” And she leaned in, gently brushing her lips against her boss’s, a hint of hesitation in her kiss like she still wasn’t sure this was what Grace wanted. She lingered for a moment before she started to pull away slowly, as if she was giving Grace a chance to back out and a chance to dive in at the same time.

But for Grace, there was no choice.

“Something like _this,”_ she said, quiet but strong, taking Karen’s face in her hands with an urgency that completely overcame her and letting their lips collide. God, she tasted so sweet, the perfect mix of gin and desire. She felt the way Karen grabbed onto her waist like she needed to steady her balance and couldn’t help sighing into her assistant’s mouth at the touch, only to be cut off by the surprise of Karen’s tongue sweeping against hers. But Karen heard her. Karen always heard her. And when she did, she knew exactly how to respond.

Grace felt the pull on her blouse as Karen untucked it from her skirt and slid her hands underneath. She rushed to undo the buttons herself so she could keep Karen’s hands on her skin, fumbling every now and then, overwhelmed by the fireworks Karen’s fingers were setting off along her spine; every time she thought she knew where the dark haired woman’s hands were going, they took a completely unexpected turn, knocking every other thought out of her head as the thrill took control of her. As soon as the last button came undone, Karen’s touch migrated to Grace’s shoulders, sliding the blouse off of the redhead’s body before she tossed it to the floor. Grace pulled Karen on top of her, stunned by how their bodies fit perfectly together as they lay on the couch, by how brilliant the weight of her assistant felt against her. She felt Karen start to travel up her curves, unable to keep the soft moan building in her throat to herself. She wanted more, she could feel it surging through her core, but she swore to god that in this moment, she would be content to stay like this forever.

Just then, Karen lifted herself up just a little bit, so that she was hovering above her boss like a Prada-clad angel. Her smile was shining, her eyes were blissfully wild. She stayed there for a moment, studying Grace with what looked like wonder, and the redhead couldn’t help herself. “What is it?” she asked.

“Nothing, honey,” Karen breathed. “I’ve just never seen you like this before. It’s a good look on you.” She lowered her head to press a kiss just underneath Grace’s ear before she murmured, “Are you still nervous?”

Grace felt a twinge between her legs as she let the heat of Karen’s breath on her skin wash over her. She let out a soft “Mmmm…” before she could find the right words. “A little bit,” she managed.

She felt Karen hesitate against her, knowing she wasn’t expecting that as an answer. Their eyes met as Grace registered the concern starting to grow across Karen’s face. “Why?”

“Because…” she started, looking Karen square in the eye. “If you don’t take me all the way soon, I don’t know what I’m going to do.”

In an instant, Karen features twisted into a diabolically delicious look. “Patience, Gracie,” she drew out before leaning back in, tracing her tongue along the redhead’s ear and sighing in satisfaction as Grace started to arch her back in reflex. “I’ll make it all worth it, I promise.” And without breaking her gaze, she ran her fingers along the thin black lace of Grace’s bra before pushing it up to free her breasts, her thumbs drawing circles over the redhead’s nipples. Grace’s moan grew louder with each wave of pressure, and as hard as she tried to keep her eyes on Karen, she eventually threw her head back, succumbing to the way her assistant could completely scramble her mind with just a flick of her thumb. She couldn’t believe how quickly Karen worked her into this frenzy. _God,_ it felt sublime. It felt electric. It…

It stopped without warning.

Grace lifted her head the second Karen stopped running her fingers along her breasts, her eyes growing wider with confusion as she found Karen sitting on her haunches, a satisfied smirk on her face. What the hell was this? Didn’t Karen say she’d be here if Grace needed her? Was this just a game to her? “Why did you stop?” she asked in a whimper, desperate for Karen’s touch again.

The dark haired woman gave a little shrug. “I just wanna make sure you know what you want,” she replied slyly.

This had to be part of the plan. _Had_ to be. Bring Grace closer to the edge. Make her crave the way Karen handled her. Cut her off and drive her mad. But she would give Grace what she wanted in the end; Karen could never be _that_ cruel (right?). If this was a game, Grace would play to win. “Are you serious?!” she asked, exasperated but intrigued, willing to go through whatever motions she had to if they brought her assistant back on top of her. “Karen, I swear to god...I need you. I need you to--”

And before she could finish her thought, Karen leaned in to take Grace’s breast into her mouth.

 _“Fuck_ me,” the redhead gasped, her fingers immediately running through Karen’s hair to hold her head in place, refusing to give up this feeling. The warmth of her lips on Grace’s breast. The swirl of her tongue around Grace’s nipple. Before long, Grace brought her own hand to her other breast, massaging it in a desperate attempt to give herself the same sensation Karen was so effortlessly giving her. But good _god,_ nothing could compare to the way Karen knew exactly what to do to drive her wild. It was so easy to get lost in it, she almost didn’t notice the dark haired woman’s hand start to travel down her torso until Karen’s fingers started to trace her navel before running back and forth along the top of her skirt, like she was waiting for permission. Like she was waiting for Grace to beg for that touch. But every time Karen twisted her tongue, it tied Grace’s, reducing her to a moan every time she tried to say something, anything.

So she opted for plan B.

Grace stopped massaging her breast and reached down to grab a hold of Karen’s wrist. She swore she heard the dark haired woman’s breath hitch at the contact, and gave her no time to recover as she took her assistant’s hand and slid it underneath her skirt, guiding it between her legs. She gasped out an “Oh my _god”_ the second she felt Karen’s fingers brush against her clit, already starting to feel that unmistakable surge rising to a frenzy in her core. But the moment Karen felt how wet Grace was, she stopped everything in what seemed like surprise, like she couldn’t believe what she was feeling. She lifted her head to meet Grace’s blissed out gaze, brow arched in a stunned satisfaction that crashed into the redhead with an incredible power. Grace tried to break through the thrill with a smile, tried to string together a few words amidst the ecstasy.

“Karen…” she finally managed, her breath heavy. “That’s what you do to me.”

And Karen looked at her like she had just given her the key to the world.

“Oh, Gracie,” the dark haired woman whispered huskily, diving in to devour Grace’s lips in a hungry kiss. And with everything that Karen was giving her now, Grace wanted to give something back. Brush her tongue along Karen’s, let her leg slide up Karen’s thigh before Karen started making her body quake. Run her nails down Karen’s back to set off the same sparks she was feeling. She couldn’t help from smiling when she heard Karen moan into her mouth as her fingers traveled down her assistant’s spine. Being able to make someone like Karen Walker react like that was powerful. And she wanted more. She wanted to know what it felt like, what it sounded like, when _she_ was the one on top of Karen, when _she_ was the one who slid her touch down porcelain skin, when _she_ was the one who--

“Oh my _god,_ right there!” Grace cried out, pulling away from Karen’s kiss as Karen took the redhead’s clit between her fingers, obliterating her train of thought. She never wanted this to end, but Jesus, she wasn’t sure how much longer she could hold on. She grasped onto the arm of the couch above her head in a futile attempt to steady herself, but she quickly realized it was no use; the waves of pressure between her legs were about to make the waves rising in her core crash wildly onto her shore. So before she reached the point of no return, she tried her damndest to make one simple request.

“Deeper,” she panted.

“Hmm?” Karen drew out, in a maddenly diabolical tone that sounded genuine and teasing at the same time. She moved in to within an inch of Grace’s ear, let her breath send shivers through her boss as she asked, “Come again, honey?”

 _“Deeper,”_ Grace moaned against the swirl of Karen’s fingers along her clit. “I want you inside me.”

Karen smiled against her ear. “Thank god,” she murmured. “‘Cause I wanna be completely surrounded by you.” She pressed a kiss to Grace’s cheek. She let herself linger there for a moment. And before Grace could beg her to hurry up, she slid two fingers into her opening.

Grace’s choked off moan filled the suite as she moved her body to the rhythm of Karen’s touch, trying to match the deft way she was moving inside her. Her hips rolled slowly at first, her legs beginning to shake with anticipation against Karen’s. And Karen took that as her cue to go faster, like she wanted to make Grace’s quake uncontrollable, like she wanted to see how loud the redhead could moan. Grace could hear the way she was turning it up, and she couldn’t have cared less; she had never been with someone who could make it feel so brilliantly explosive before, and she wasn’t about to keep herself in check when Karen seemed so hell-bent on destroying every single one of her inhibitions. Her grip on the arm of the couch became tighter and her moans grew louder and louder until she cried out at full volume, her orgasm completely taking over her body before she fell limp against the couch.

She rested there for a minute, completely and gloriously spent. She felt different now, like she had just shed her skin to reveal her true self. And she couldn’t believe how wonderful it was to be on the other side.

For a few beautiful moments, she could still feel Karen inside of her as her breathing finally began to even out. But even as she missed the sensation of it as Karen slowly pulled out, nothing could beat the view of her assistant floating above her, the brightest vision she had ever seen. It blinded her to anything that wasn’t Karen. It made her incapable of anything other than studying the woman who just gave her everything she needed. It rendered her speechless.

And the silence made Karen think something was wrong.

“Are you okay?”

Her question sounded so genuine, Grace couldn’t help but laugh. She had never cried out like that for anyone before, she couldn’t believe that it could be mistaken for anything other than sheer pleasure. But then again, she never had someone check in with her like that before, never had someone respond to the way her body moved like that before, never had someone so in sync with her before. It was something she could easily get used to.

“Yeah,” she exhaled, a smile growing across her face. “I’m great.” She reached up to run her fingers through Karen’s hair. “But I think I would be better if you took me to the bedroom.”

When Karen laughed, Grace could feel it all along her body as the dark haired woman positively vibrated from it. “Honey, I haven’t been up here until now. I have no idea where the bedroom is.”

Grace arched her brow, feeling a little more daring, a little more playful, a little more free. “So let’s figure it out together. You know...” She wrapped her arms around Karen’s shoulders, brought her assistant’s lips to within an inch of her own. “So I can properly thank you for your generosity.” And as Karen parted her lips to respond, Grace caught them in a kiss, reveling in the way Karen seemed to melt into her at first before finally pulling away and getting up from the couch.

“Well, come on, then,” her assistant smirked, holding out her hand for Grace to take. “What are we waiting for?” She pulled Grace up off the couch, letting out a small laugh as the redhead’s body crashed into her arms. “Let’s do a little exploring.”

The way Karen wrapped her arms around Grace’s waist. The way Grace could still feel the warmth of Karen’s body even through her clothes. The way they Karen pressed against her as they kissed. It was crazy how quickly Grace forgot what it had been like before this night, to live without all of this. This was always meant to be hers, she was sure of it. It was why Karen’s hand fit perfectly against the small of her back. It was why it was so easy to let Karen guide her to their destiny. Because after twenty years of watching each other waste time on men who couldn’t give them what they deserved--on men who didn’t want to--it was about time they both spent the night with someone who could give them everything. And Grace wanted everything. She wanted to give Karen everything.

After all, it was what they deserved.

* * *

_**“No regrets, this is heaven sent** _   
_**Look at where we are, it’s amazing** _   
_**And if you need me, I will be in your memory”** _

Grace woke up the next morning and didn’t quite realize where she was. The space felt too nice for her to be able to afford on her own, too big for her to have ever requested for herself. But then she heard a familiar voice, hushed as it asked about French toast and bacon and mimosas, and she turned to the other side of the bed to find Karen sitting up, sheets wrapped around her bare skin, negotiating with room service as if nothing was out of the ordinary. She watched as her assistant turned to face her, heard the way Karen’s smile colored her speech as she asked for an ETA on their food. This would have been the time when she started freaking out, scrambling to piece together the steps she took that led her here, to a bed she didn’t plan to sleep in, next to a woman whose friendship meant more to her than just about anything, wondering how long it would be before they severed their ties and convinced themselves it was for the best. But she was lying next to Karen, a woman who was more offended by respecting boundaries than by pushing them to their breaking point. And in a strange way, even with twenty years of friendship at stake, she felt safe here.

Even when the memory of last night came rushing back to her.

The drink, the speech. The weight of Karen against her body on the couch. Sliding out of her skirt and leaving a trail of Prada behind them as they searched for the bedroom. Stumbling through a couple of wrong doorways before finally finding it, the dark haired woman’s lips never once leaving her skin, even when she was laughing over stumbling into the bathroom twice in their impassioned search (god, that breathless laugh against her neck nearly made her knees buckle right then and there). Falling onto the mattress. Straddling Karen’s bare hips. Being brought to the edge all over again, just from being able to touch her. The way Karen sighed at the turn of her fingers, the way she held Grace as close to her as she could while she came. The way they relaxed against each other. The way they fell asleep, woven together in a brilliant tangle of arms and legs. The way Karen’s breathing soothed her into slumber.

The way it all felt like a homecoming.

Grace couldn’t get over how right this was, couldn’t believe they wasted so many years getting to this point. If only they hadn’t dismissed it every time Karen slid her hand across Grace’s thigh, every time Grace let it linger there instead of pushing it away. If only Grace let herself feel the spark that started all those times Karen kissed her during their twenty years together, the one she always pushed to the back of her mind so she wouldn’t have to think about it. If only she had started thinking about it sooner; they could have had so many nights like last night. They could have had so many mornings like this, where they could open their eyes and know they were exactly where they should be. The redhead let a sleepy smile start to play across her face to match Karen’s and reached across the bed to grab her assistant’s hand, cradling it in hers while she waited for Karen to hang up the phone and come back down to her level.

“Good morning,” she murmured, pulling the dark haired woman in the second the phone hit the nightstand, pressing a kiss to Karen’s lips like they had been waking up together every morning for years.

“Morning, honey,” Karen whispered against the redhead as she pulled away. “I guess that answers my question.”

“Which question?”

“The one that lets me know if you regret anything that happened last night.”

She said it so casually, anybody else would have mistaken it for indifference. But Grace had experience reading between Karen’s lines. She could see the cracks in Karen’s facade. And she could hear the nervousness in Karen’s words as she put a voice to the worst case scenario. She watched as Karen sat back against the headboard, and she propped herself up on her elbow, her other arm sliding along Karen’s lap. “Hey,” she said, looking straight into her assistant’s hazel eyes. “It’s impossible to regret a perfect night.” She nearly melted when Karen rested her hand on her arm, giving it a small, relieved squeeze. “I just wish it hadn’t taken us so long to get here.”

“Are you kidding? We had to wait for a getaway like this.”

Grace furrowed her brow. “You don’t think I would have done this in New York?”

Karen gave a little smirk. “You really think you would have been as uninhibited as you were, knowing that Will could walk in at any minute?”

Oh. Right. Will. As much as Grace wanted to protest, Karen knew her well. She wouldn’t have done the things she did last night if she knew Will was around. And even if there was no chance of him walking in on them, she knew her poker face was nonexistent around him. It would only be a matter of time before he figured it out and she got way too tongue-tied to save herself. “Maybe you’re right,” she conceded. “I’d like to think that it wouldn’t matter. But maybe you’re right.” She sighed, trying to figure out where this conversation was going, trying to ignore the sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach about it. “So, what, this was just a fluke?”

Karen shook her head adamantly. “Couldn’t be. No, honey, this was something that was meant to happen. It’s just...maybe it’s something that was only meant to happen while we’re here.”

“You mean, what happens in L.A. stays in L.A.?”

“Well...I don’t know. Would that be so bad?”

It was a fair question. _Would_ it be so bad? Sure, her instinct was to be selfish, to convince Karen that they could have this on the East Coast, too. Her argument was already forming on the tip of her tongue. But Karen had a point. They could be as free as they wanted to here. They wouldn’t have to rationalize, they wouldn’t have to explain themselves. They could give each other everything they needed, and go home knowing that they’ve shared something special, something untarnished, something spectacular. It was something Grace wouldn’t mind agreeing to; she was certain that it was better to have this for a couple of days than to not have it at all. She came alive under Karen’s touch; she felt like a new woman, a better woman. And she wanted that feeling for as long as she could get it. She wanted to be here, with Karen, until they were forced to leave.

But before she could answer, there was a knock on their front door.

“Oh! That’s breakfast,” Karen said, getting out of bed with what Grace could swear was reluctance. She opened up the closet and pulled out a pink silk robe, draping it around her bare body so gracefully, it made the redhead’s heart skip a beat.

Grace watched as Karen floated out of the bedroom to let their room service in, getting lost in the way the dark haired woman moved like she was following some beautiful rhythm only she could hear. Instinctively, she rose from the bed, ready to follow Karen’s path and her rhythm before she realized that with her blouse and her skirt abandoned somewhere in the main space, she had nothing to change into. She opened up Karen’s closet, knowing her assistant would have packed like they would be here for a month, knowing she would find something in there that she could borrow. She pulled a bold blue robe from its hanger and put it on, overwhelmed by how much it smelled like Karen, letting the gardenia go to her head. But soon, the gardenia started to give way to the smell of bacon coming from the main space of the suite, and Grace had no choice but to follow her heart, and made her way towards her girl and her breakfast.

Karen had set their food out on the coffee table, forgoing the dining area of the suite in favor of breakfast on the couch where they started it all. She smiled as Grace took a seat next to her, started busying herself by pouring each of them a mimosa from the carafe in silence. Maybe she didn’t want to risk Grace letting her down. Maybe she didn’t think they would be on the same page. Maybe she thought it was better to stop talking about it.

Grace wanted to prove her wrong.

“So, just for kicks, let’s say that we keep this up for the rest of the trip,” she murmured as she picked up a piece of bacon. “What would the rules be?”

“Well...just for kicks…” Karen teased, setting one mimosa on the table in front of the redhead before pulling a sip from the other. “You still need to give your speech today. But besides that, I say we make the most of it, do whatever we want. We don’t have to leave this suite if you don’t want to. It’ll be just you and me.”

Grace narrowed her eyes. “I thought you said you didn’t share,” she smirked.

Karen reached out to brush a lock of Grace’s wildfire hair behind her ear. “Yeah, well...every rule’s gotta have an exception, honey.”

That touch, the one that was so gentle even as it sent shockwaves through her body. Grace wondered if Karen knew exactly what she was doing to her, if she could feel the shockwaves, too. She wondered if Karen liked learning the ways her body responded to her, for her. “That sounds perfect,” she murmured before a fortifying breath. “Which means there’s got to be a catch.”

She could see the way Karen’s features softened, like she was about to let Grace down easy. It was a foolish thought, she knew; why would Karen propose heaven only to take it away in the next breath? Still, it made her brace herself as she watched the dark haired woman’s lips start to wrap around her words. “It’s kind of a double-edged sword, isn’t it? Something like this?” she asked, a tinge of sadness mixed with her hope. “Gracie, I want to be able to be with you like this for as long as I possibly can. But I know the longer we’re like this, the harder it’s gonna be to walk away. So...I think we need a clear cut off time. Something that could keep us from hurting once it’s over.” She slid her hand over Grace’s, her fingers slowly weaving with the redhead’s. “We’ve got today. And we’ve got tomorrow. But I know if I wake up next to you on the morning we have to leave, I’m not gonna be able to let you go.”

“So, what, I’m out of here before the clock strikes midnight and the stagecoach turns back into a pumpkin?”

God, the way Karen’s lip curled so slightly, trying to respect the gravity of the situation but being unable to contain herself. Grace counted it as a win any time she could get her to smile, but a smile like that, one that could break through anything, was impossible to beat. “That depends, Cinderella,” Karen sighed. “Would you be okay with that?”

Truthfully? No. There was no way Grace could ever be okay with that. Now that she knew what she had been missing all these years, she couldn’t possibly be expected to give it up willingly. But she had time. She could convince Karen that they could still have this after they went back home. She could show her how wonderful life could be. And they would realize that living on the bottled up memory of their time together could never be satisfying. They would realize that what they had could never be contained within the walls of this hotel suite, within the confines of their stay in Los Angeles.

She just needed to keep this going. She could figure out the rest of it later.

“Yeah,” she nodded. “I think I would.”

Karen’s smile grew wider as she squeezed Grace’s hand. “Oh, honey...you promise?”

Grace leaned in, looked her assistant straight in the eye. “I promise,” she whispered before she brushed her lips against Karen’s.

It was incredible, the passion that lived in every kiss. Making up for lost time, making every mediocre kiss from every mediocre love worth it just by knowing they created the road that led them both here. It was something she hoped would never fade. She started to give herself up to Karen’s lips, letting each kiss explode against her skin like the greatest fireworks show. Sparks of brilliant light. Feeling that energy throughout her whole body. It dared her to forget the rest of the world and focus only on Karen. But there was just one tiny thing keeping her from diving in completely.

“Wait, wait, wait,” Grace managed, breathless in a moment when she wasn’t silenced by Karen’s kiss. “What time is it?”

Karen pulled away from the redhead’s neck to catch a glimpse of the clock across the room. “It’s 10:30,” she said before leaning back in.

 _“Shit!”_ The redhead was off the couch like a shot, nearly tripping over the coffee table as she tried to race to the front door. “I go on at eleven, they want me down there fifteen minutes early, I have to get ready.” And still in Karen’s robe, she opened the door and started to run back to her hotel room for a change of clothes, not noticing that Karen had grabbed her purse and her speech and started running after her.

“Honey, your key!” Karen called out down the hallway, digging into Grace’s purse until she pulled out the redhead’s key card. When she met the nervous redhead at her room, she unlocked the door and let Grace fly to her suitcase to put together an outfit that looked halfway professional. Grace could feel Karen’s eyes on her as she shrugged out of the robe and tossed it onto the bed, trying not to get distracted by how good it felt to know she was watching her. She stumbled into her own clothes, rushed to the bathroom to run a brush through her hair and throw on the slightest bit of makeup, and came back out to find Karen picking a few things out of her suitcase.

“What are you doing?” she asked, stopping in place for the first time in her race to get ready.

Karen pulled Grace’s pajamas from the suitcase and held them close to her chest as she met her gaze. “Getting some provisions. Not that I would mind you being naked the entire time,” she smirked, letting her eyes ride the length of Grace’s body, “but on the off chance you want to be clothed, I figured we should bring a few things from your room over to mine. Because I was serious about never leaving that suite.” She rummaged through Grace’s suitcase one more time, to see if there was anything else she deemed worthy of bringing back with her. “I’ll be fine in here, you should head down to the conference.”

“But you’ll still be there, right?” she asked with a hint of worry, as if Karen had suddenly decided that spending the rest of their time together meant that she didn’t need to be at the place where Grace needed her the most.

But as soon as Karen took her hand, she felt that worry melt away. “I wouldn’t miss it. Now, come on,” she said, letting go of Grace’s hand and giving her an affectionate tap from behind. “Get that cute little butt of yours in gear and go down there already.” She grabbed the index cards she had rested on the nightstand, and passed them off. “You look great. You’ll _be_ great. You have nothing to worry about.” She quickly, gently brushed her lips against Grace’s and made her way to the bathroom to do a sweep of her boss’s things.

As Grace made her way out of her hotel room and to the elevator, she swore she could still feel Karen’s kiss vibrating through her. It made it nearly impossible to go downstairs and pretend like she had any interest left in the conference. It didn’t even feel like the reason she was in L.A. in the first place anymore; she was convinced that this trip was meant for her to be with Karen. She wanted to bail, ride the elevator back up to their floor and let Karen strip her of this outfit (god, she would even let her critique each piece as she took it off, as long as she didn’t have it against her skin anymore). But she had a job to do. So she huffed her way out of the elevator and into the conference, making it just under the wire. She wanted to rush through this, get it over with, put it behind her. But not for the reasons she had yesterday. Yesterday, she just wanted to be able to stop being anxious about it, read the words on her index cards, suffer through the Q&A, go back to her room and stuff her face with overpriced room service.

But today, she just couldn’t wait to be back in that suite, in that bed, in those arms. Today, she couldn’t wait to be alone again with Karen.

**********

Karen was right. She had nothing to worry about.

Grace felt the nerves start to kick in again when she got on stage and looked out over the sea of designers with their eyes trained on her, psyching herself out the way she did when she first checked in to the hotel. But then she saw Karen, sitting there like the dark haired woman promised, smiling at her from the front row. And she started to feel her confidence push through to the light. She didn’t hear the way the organizers of the conference introduced her; she didn’t really care what they said. She didn’t hear her name being called or the polite applause from the audience. She was perfectly content getting lost in Karen’s hazel eyes and letting everything else fade to the background. It wasn’t until her assistant’s shoulders shook with that breathless laugh of hers and motioned towards the podium at the front of the stage, mouthing “Go ahead” in an attempt to snap Grace out of it that the redhead finally snapped back into reality and did what she came here to do. But when she finally reached that podium, she breezed through it all like it was second nature.

She touched on what it took for her to be the one trusted with designing fifteen boutique hotels for Eli Wolff (disastrous date with Will notwithstanding), and she spoke about it like it was the easiest thing in the world. She talked about her process and what it meant to make all that custom made furniture available for purchase. She pulled out the proof that people actually were buying these pieces, thank you very much. She answered every question lobbed at her with a poise she never before realized she had. And she knew she wouldn’t have been able to hold herself together this well if she didn’t have Karen to focus on. Sure, she looked out into the audience from time to time, making it seem like she was engaged, making it seem like she wanted them there. But her gaze always came back to the magnet pull of her assistant. She couldn’t get over how much Karen looked like she was actually paying attention, like she was invested in everything Grace was saying. It surprised her, even though she knew it shouldn’t; after all these years of Karen barely doing work and acting like she’d rather be anywhere but the office, Grace knew deep down that Karen was always listening, that Karen always cared.

If she didn’t have that, she would have self-destructed a long time ago. And now that the speech was over, now that she was being swarmed by enthusiastic designers who wanted to keep picking her brain, now that they’ve blocked Karen from view completely, she had the uneasy feeling that she was about to implode. Eighteen hours ago, she would have bristled at the idea of so much interaction, but she would have done it anyway, forced herself to network on the miniscule chance that it would actually help her business. But she didn’t know what it was like to be in Karen’s bed eighteen hours ago. She didn’t have a ticking clock in the back of her mind, telling her that time was slowly but surely running out.

As if she summoned her, Grace saw the sea of strangers ahead of her begin to part, heard a high-pitched “Coming through!” and an annoyed “Oh, for god’s sake…” when someone wouldn’t budge, before Karen pushed her way to the front of the crowd and took Grace’s hand. “Honey, I’m sorry to pull you away like this, but there’s a tiny little emergency we need to attend to,” she said, already starting to lead Grace out the way she came.

“Yes, of course,” Grace replied, feigning concern, trying to sound as professional as possible while she mumbled her seemingly endless chant of “Excuse me” for everyone blocking her way. When they finally made it out of the room, Karen picked up her pace, moving as close to a full run as Grace had ever seen her, racing to the bank of elevators with her laughing redhead in tow. Grace collided into her when she stopped in front of the call button. “So what’s this emergency we need to attend to?” she asked as she caught her breath.

“The emergency is, it’s been ten minutes since your talk ended, and you’re still not in my bed.” Grace felt herself start to buckle under the thrill. It didn’t hit her until now just how long she had been waiting for Karen to talk to her this way. Their little innuendos and flirtations they could play off as part of their unique connection were one thing; Karen being so blunt in this moment struck something inside of her she didn’t even realize was aching to ring out. She lived for the way it vibrated through her, and silently pledged to do whatever it took to get Karen to keep talking like that.

Karen let out a small “Oh!” of delight when the elevator next to them dinged, and slid into it as soon as the doors opened. “You did your deed for the day,” she said, watching Grace join her in the elevator as she pushed the button for their floor. “You’re mine now.”

And as the doors closed, Karen plunged her fingers into Grace’s hair, drawing the redhead to her lips with such passion, it made the redhead fall into her.

They stumbled a bit, moving against the rise of the elevator until Grace’s back landed against the wall, steadying Karen enough to let her hands travel down her boss’ body. Grace sighed as she felt Karen’s touch fall to her hip, and she slid her leg up Karen’s leg, hoping it would guide her hand a little lower. Her breath hitched as Karen’s hand started to burrow underneath her skirt, sending shivers to her spine that became more and more intense the higher Karen traveled. She thought she was going to lose her mind, tried to form the words to beg Karen to just go for it already, slide her touch underneath her panties and give her the release she craved. But then Karen took a detour, drew her nails down Grace’s thigh before continuing her climb, the redhead’s surprised moan drowning her entire vocabulary. She wondered how much time they had before they reached their floor, how far they could go before the doors opened. Maybe she should reach over and hit the emergency stop, buy herself a few more minutes so she could get what she wanted. Maybe…

Karen’s hand brushed against the thin cotton of Grace’s panties, just as she broke away from the redhead’s lips and started leaving a trail of hungry kisses down her neck. The heat of Karen’s breath against her skin began to melt Grace, and she closed her eyes to fully take the sensation in, to shut out the rest of the world so that Karen was the only one who counted. Which was why she didn’t register the ding that signaled their arrival to their floor. Which was why she didn’t notice the doors opening to let them off. Which was why she didn’t acknowledge the older couple stepping into the elevator with them.

At least, not until she heard someone clear their throat.

In an instant, Grace’s eyes snapped open to find the wide eyed couple staring at them from across the elevator. “Shit,” she muttered under her breath, pushing the button to keep the doors open, reluctantly nudging Karen to try to get her to stop. “Kare, come on. We need to get off.”

“That’s what I’m workin’ on, honey,” Karen murmured against her neck.

Grace bit her lower lip to keep her laughter in, seeing the way the couple’s features twisted in a mix of offense and intrigue. “No, we need to get off the elevator. We’re on our floor. And we’ve got company.”

Karen pulled away to meet Grace’s gaze, her brow furrowed until she looked behind her. “Oh, fuck,” she giggled, pushing herself off of the redhead before taking her hand and leading her out of the elevator. “Enjoy your stay!” she chirped to the stunned couple they left behind.

With anyone else, Grace would have been embarrassed that they were caught like that. With anyone else, she wouldn’t have been able to live it down. But with Karen, she felt so light, so free, so daring. She looked back as the elevator doors closed, the adrenaline from the encounter coursing through her, and she grinned in victory. Who cared if someone saw them? Who cared if _everyone_ saw them? Let them have a little fun. Let them show everyone in this place how wonderful life could be if you just loosen up a bit.

Let this hotel be their playground.

They rushed down the hall, impatient to get to Karen’s suite all the way at the end. God, Grace wished it wasn’t so far away. It wasn’t fair, really. Not when they needed to pick up where they left off. Karen started fishing for her key card halfway down the hall, and Grace couldn’t get over the sight. She loved it, loved that the dark haired woman was just as impatient as she was. By the time they made it to their door, Grace was about to explode, watching Karen slip the key card in. All she wanted was to get out of these clothes, get into bed, get Karen on top of her, and...

“Oh my god, there’s cake.”

Grace walked into the suite to find a room service cart in the middle of the living space with a fresh bottle of champagne resting next to two slices of the most decadent chocolate cake she had ever seen. She couldn’t contain the grin breaking out across her face as she made her way to the cart, and took a breath to ask what it was doing here before Karen read her mind.

“Honey, don’t get mad,” she said, her voice coming closer and closer from behind until Grace felt the dark haired woman wrap her arms around her waist. “But I slipped out during the Q&A when you weren’t looking my way to make sure this would be here when you came back.”

“How can I be mad when there’s cake?” Grace relaxed a little further into Karen’s arms, genuinely taken aback by the gesture. She knew Karen could be generous when she wanted to be; it was just that not a lot of people got to experience that generosity first hand. It was incredible, knowing that she was one of the chosen few. “You seriously did this for me?”

“Well, yeah. Gracie, you did something wonderful today. You should be celebrated.”

There it was, one of those things that made Grace swear this went beyond the physical. One of those things that made her get flashes of what it would be like to be in an honest to god relationship with this woman: tiny gestures with overwhelming meaning, nights of incredible passion, days of incredible thoughtfulness, that constant feeling of safety even when she knew they were crossing twenty-year-old lines that could never lead them back to where they were used to again. The more she thought about it, the more she realized she’s always wanted it, always wanted _her._ It was right there for two decades; she couldn’t believe it took a late in the game change of scenery to get her to see it so clearly. 

But only if Karen wanted to. And she wasn’t exactly sure that Karen wanted to.

Sure, there were moments like these when it felt like they could go on for so much longer than they’ve given themselves, when it felt like Karen thought about it as much as Grace did, when Grace was convinced they would reach the end of this trip and Karen would tell her to screw the rules as they left the hotel hand in hand, waiting to start their new chapter in Manhattan. She could feel it this morning as they woke up together. She could feel it now. But she couldn’t shake the feeling that maybe, just maybe, this was merely a physical connection for Karen. After all, they had spent the better part of their night last night with their bodies pressed against each other. And the second Karen got her alone again after the talk, the dark haired woman immediately switched back to that irresistibly playful side of her that Grace couldn’t help but love. Maybe their expiration date was Karen’s way of telling her what it was all about. Maybe this was Karen’s way of telling her not to get attached, to just have fun, let loose with someone she trusted because how often do you get to have no-strings sex with someone you won’t regret later? Maybe she should just think about it like that so she wouldn’t get hurt when it all ended without moving past the surface.

If only it were that easy.

She wanted so desperately to find out if this was as real for Karen as it was for her. But she didn’t have the heart to ask. She didn’t want to put herself out there only to be let down. At least, not yet. Not when they still had this time together. So she tried to push it to the back of her mind, and let a question form on her tongue that wouldn’t burn her in the end.

“Can we eat the cake in bed?” she asked hopefully, like someone who had been living with Will’s fear of crumbs for the better part of her life.

Karen reached for a fork, cut off a small piece of her slice and fed it to Grace with a smirk. “We can do whatever you want in bed.” And with that, she picked up her plate in one hand, the bottle of champagne in the other, and started to make her way towards the bedroom. “Get the glasses for us, would ya?” she called back before disappearing into the other room. Grace carefully scooped the glasses into her grasp, grabbing her cake as she followed her girl. She saw the way Karen was all smiles as they changed back into their robes and climbed into bed, and she promised herself that she would follow suit. Because it wasn’t going to do any good to worry about a future that wasn’t promised to them. Just enjoy this now, Grace. Focus on the way she touches you. Focus on the way she kisses you. Focus on the present. Keep telling yourself that you’ll figure it out later. Keep telling yourself that there’ll be time. 

It doesn’t matter if it isn’t true. As long as it keeps you in the moment. Because this moment is all that matters.

* * *

_**“‘Cause I don’t wanna be here without you** _   
_**I’d rather just bottle time** _   
_**Open up the memory and keep you by my side** _   
_**I can’t believe I ever found you** _   
_**Baby, take a look around** _   
_**Everything is perfect now”** _

There were times when she had to keep herself from falling into the delusion that this was all just a dream.

Like when Karen folded herself into Grace’s arms last night, fingers sprawled out over the redhead’s torso in a quiet moment as she told her that this was more than just sex to her. Grace laughed at first because she couldn’t quite believe a woman like Karen could fall for her, and if their time here was anything to go by, sex was definitely a big part of whatever it was they were doing with each other. And as much as she wanted that confirmation that Karen felt this as much as she did, she wasn’t about to give in to what she knew she wanted, only to have it ripped out from under her as a joke. But then Karen told her she was serious in the most genuine voice Grace had ever heard on her. And Grace couldn’t help the question that spilled from her lips: “Why?”

Karen lifted her head from Grace’s chest and met her gaze. “Because. You know all my tells. You know all my quirks. You know me. And you haven’t left.”

Grace fell silent, letting Karen’s words fill the air, letting the echoes of the sentiment speak for her. Because when it came down to it, she could say the exact same thing about her.

Or like when they stayed up until two in the morning testing how well they really did know each other, trying to surprise the other with little known facts about themselves and realized that, for the most part, they already knew each other’s little known facts. The one time Grace was able to stump her, with some college fling she hadn’t even told Will about, the thrill of the knowledge that she had the ability to surprise Karen spread through her like wildfire. It made her want to spend the rest of her days looking for new ways to surprise her, even though she knew they only had a day left. But then there was Grace’s worst childhood memory. That summer at sleep away camp, when she played Noah’s wife in the play about the arc, and she spent her time behind the canteen kissing the kid who played Yak number one. Her sad, lonely reasons for marrying Leo again, against everybody’s better judgment, including her own. Karen already knew these things. Grace couldn’t remember when she ever mentioned them, or why. But Karen did. And that meant everything.

It meant as much as finding out how much she really knew about Karen. She could see how the dark haired woman made an effort to keep it light, to keep as much of her past out of this as she possibly could. But she knew. She knew about the way Karen ran away from home at sixteen. She knew about the things Karen did to support herself when she was finally on her own. She knew about the trivial things, like what started that ridiculous feud with Candace Bergen, like all the reasons why Karen got those salesgirls at Barney’s fired, and the one firing she actually regretted. Everything that Karen said to try to shock her only proved how solid Karen was in her life. There was nothing she could say that would surprise her. They were both safe in these revelations, safe in this suite, safe in whatever affection they were feeling. In that moment, they were each other’s person, the one they trusted with everything.

It made Grace think they had a chance once they landed back in Manhattan, in spite of their own ground rules. It made her want to fight for it, even though she knew Karen would push back at first, remind her of their plan, tell her that it was for their own good. And it made her think she could win that fight.

They didn’t feel impossible, these thoughts. She couldn’t tell if that was a good thing or a bad thing.

When she woke up this morning, on their last full day here, Grace felt the silk of Karen’s robe underneath her fingers as she held her in her arms and smiled to herself, basking in the idea of Karen starting her day before deciding she couldn’t start it without her. She gave a little scratch against Karen’s back to let the dark haired woman know she was awake, heard the way Karen let out a quiet “Mmm…” of acknowledgement as she tightened her hold around the redhead’s waist. They relaxed into the silence of the new day, Grace content to never move from this spot. She wasn’t about to go back down to that conference, sit through mind-numbing presentations, make small talk with the other designers. She didn’t care about any of that. All she cared about was Karen and the calm safety that draped over them now; she didn’t want to do or say anything that could shatter that.

And then Karen’s voice mumbled its way to life.

“Why’d you ask me to come on this trip with you?”

Grace ran her fingers through Karen’s hair, unable to speak anything other than the truth. “I didn’t want to be here without you.” She took a beat, wondering why after everything, she was still nervous to hear Karen’s answers to her questions. “Why did you agree to come with me?”

Karen didn’t even hesitate. “I didn’t want to stay there without you.”

It was incredible, the way she did that. How could she say these things so casually and still hold on to their plan? If this was as inevitable as Karen thought it was--as inevitable as Grace thought it was, if she was being completely honest--why wouldn’t they keep this going as long as they possibly could? Why set limits? Why not take off someplace where they wouldn’t have to worry about anyone else?

Actually...that wasn’t the worst idea in the world.

“So let’s just not go back there,” Grace replied, trying to keep it light so it would mask how serious she realized she was. “Not yet, anyway.”

Karen lifted her head to meet Grace’s gaze. “What? Honey, that’s crazy talk.”

“Is it? I mean, come on...if we can’t have this in Manhattan, why should we go back right away? We could stay here. Or we could go anywhere we want. We have our own jet, after all.”

 _“I_ have my own jet.”

Grace let a smirk play across her face. “What, so you would just leave me here stranded?” She saw the way Karen softened, the way Karen started to crack a smile, and she couldn’t help but laugh in vindication. “Exactly,” she murmured. “Kare, think about it. Wouldn’t it be great to wake up like this in Paris? Or London? Or some remote island I’ve never heard of that only the one percent knows about. Somewhere we can be together without caring who knows about it.”

Karen narrowed her eyes playfully. “You just want me for my exotic vacations.”

“And your body,” Grace joked. But in the next second, she let her hand settle over Karen’s chest as her voice grew a little more serious. “And your heart.”

Karen’s eyes grew at Grace’s sincerity, like she couldn’t believe it was real. For a moment, it looked like she was about to give in, and Grace could feel her heart swell over the possibility. She had to know that Grace would never hurt her, not the way the redhead had seen Stan--or any man she had shown an interest in during the last twenty years--hurt her. She had to know that Grace would never leave; just look at how long they’ve stayed by each other’s side. Karen took a breath to speak, and Grace was so sure that she would hear a quiet but firm “Let’s go.”

Instead, she heard the unmistakable sound of another wall being built.

“Gracie, why do we gotta press our luck? Look around you. Everything is perfect because it was spontaneous. Neither one of us planned this. Why would we wanna mess up the memory by taking some disastrous, thought out trip somewhere, when we could just keep this to look back on whenever we wanted?” Karen sighed as she brushed a lock of her hair behind her ear. “Besides...you’d get sick of me after a while. All that time together without anyone else we know around. It would do us more harm than good. Trust me.”

Grace wanted to tell Karen that they had been together every day since they met, and she never once thought that it was too much. She wanted to tell Karen that there were so many times when she felt like it wasn’t enough. But she knew if she said those things, she would be pushing it. And she didn’t want to be the one who ruined their last day together. So she nodded, whispered an “Okay” she didn’t truly mean, and mustered up a smile in the split second before Karen brushed her lips against it.

That kiss started to make her feel better in spite of herself. She wanted to lose herself in it, went in as deep as she could, pulling Karen to her until there was no air between them. She let Karen’s tongue sweep her protests away one by one until all she could taste was the dark haired woman. She slid her hands underneath Karen’s robe to get her fill of the bareness she couldn’t stop craving, making Karen sigh against her lips before pulling away.

“We’ve got time,” Karen murmured into her ear. “It’ll be okay.” And as she pressed a kiss underneath it, as she started to travel down the paths she had come to know so well, Grace kept telling herself that it would be okay. She didn’t want to waste what time they had left wallowing in the inevitable. She wanted to make the most of it, the way they had promised each other at the start.

So she played it back in her head enough times to make her believe it.

**********

Grace was in no mood to share her, not with the clock counting down so steadily. But she knew they had locked themselves up in this suite for an incredibly long time, and a change of scenery might take their minds off of what was coming in a few hours. So after they had truly woken up, she suggested they get dressed and go down to the hotel bar for a drink. Karen made no protest; they raided the mini-bar clean long ago, and Grace could tell she was longing for a couple martinis, Bloody Marys, whatever without having to call room service every time she needed a refill. Before she knew it, they were seated at the bar, Grace running her finger along the rim of her mimosa while Karen swirled the celery of her Bloody Mary around in her glass, neither one of them making a move to strike up conversation at first. Grace started people watching, wondering if anyone recognized her from the conference and if they cared enough to wonder why she was only present for an hour of it, wondering if any of them were playing by the same rules she and Karen were (come on, it was a hotel, there had to be a few rendezvous scattered around this place). She wondered if they were okay with the rules, and how they came to be okay with them. She wondered until Karen pulled her back into reality.

“What are you gonna tell Will about the conference?”

“Oh god, I don’t even know,” she said with a laugh as she turned to face the dark haired woman. “I mean, I can tell him about my talk. And I’m sure I can bullshit my way through the rest of it. Throw as much industry lingo as I can in there so he loses interest.” And then, with a groan of realization, “Oh, but he’s going to ask about the touristy stuff. Because it’s not like I would have stayed in the hotel the whole time.” She gave Karen a nudge. “You’ve been here tons of times, you can tell me some of the things I should have seen. Right?”

“I’ve got some things in my back pocket. I can give you a rundown,” Karen giggled. “I’m sorry you didn’t really get to see L.A. I should have taken you around to a few places. Or a nice dinner that wasn’t room service.”

“What, like a date?” Grace grinned. “Because you like me or something?”

She saw the way Karen tried and failed to contain her smile and couldn’t help the swirl she started to feel in her core. “Don’t push it, Red,” Karen warned, her voice jokingly stern.

 _“Fine,”_ Grace exaggerated. “I can’t remember the last time I ate this well, anyway, so you’re off the hook. I’m gonna need Will to learn how to cook these things for me immediately.” She couldn’t help letting her eyes travel the length of Karen’s body. “And don’t be sorry about not exploring L.A. I saw what I wanted to,” she said. “And you _definitely_ took me places.”

Karen’s eyes were smoldering. “Yeah? Well, then strap in, honey,” she said, her voice dropping to its lower register as she leaned in. “I’ve still got a little time to show you a few more sights.” She pressed a kiss just underneath Grace’s ear, a spot she had quickly learned could make Grace melt on command. And as much as Grace wanted to give in, she couldn’t help being jolted by what Karen had said. _I’ve still got a little time._ It wasn’t meant to upset her. It honestly shouldn’t upset her; it wasn’t like she didn’t know what was coming. But she couldn’t fight off the sadness this time, couldn’t hide the bleak countdown getting louder and louder in her mind. Karen stopped what she was doing to Grace like she sensed the shift in her demeanor, pulled away and studied her with what felt like concern. “Gracie?” she asked with a timidity Grace never heard before in her lilt. “What’s the matter?”

Grace shook her head slightly, grabbed her mimosa to try to drown the bad feelings swirling inside her. “Nothing,” she mumbled. “I’m fine.” She pulled a long sip of her drink, draining half of it in one go.

Karen sighed as she rested her hand along the redhead’s back. “All this time with me, and you still haven’t learned to master a good poker face.” She paused like she didn’t want to consider what was in her head right now, and then, “Did I do something?”

Shit. Grace didn’t want to bring the day down. But she could never hide anything from Karen; it’s been that way since they met. “No…” she started, shaking her head. “Not now, anyway. It’s just...did you really mean what you said this morning? That we shouldn’t press our luck?”

“Well...I didn’t mean it to sound harsh. But yeah. I did. I’m just trying to look out for us. I’m trying to keep this perfect.” Karen shifted her gaze to her glass. “It’s not often you get to keep something perfect.”

“I just don’t get why it’s worth keeping something perfect if we can’t keep it going.”

“Honey, it’s kind of like...well, it’s kind of like the mini-bar I keep in the office. You know what I mean?”

Grace arched her brow. “No...but I’m extremely curious to know where you’re gonna take this.”

Karen’s lips started to curl in a half smile. “You know how sometimes you’re in crisis mode, and it doesn’t seem like anything is going to help? And then I open up a bottle of...I don’t know...Stoli. And then I give you a taste, even though you swear you would never take a drink during work hours, and you start to relax?” Grace nodded, even though she hated to admit that Karen’s methods worked wonders the few times Karen thought to use them. “That’s what this is. These last few days...they’re the Stoli. They’re what gets bottled up for when you need something good. And in those moments when you need a break, you open up the bottle, and you remember the good things, so that they start to overshadow the bad.”

“But what’s so terrible about staying together like this, if it’s what overshadows the bad things?”

“Because what if some day, this becomes a bad thing? We get tired of each other, we get a little distant. We need a taste of something that makes us feel better. But the memory of this trip doesn’t work like it should; it makes it worse.”

Oh. Grace didn’t think of that.

“I guess I get what you’re saying,” she relented eventually. And she did, on some level. As much as she wanted to believe they were bulletproof, there was never a guarantee. She didn’t want to think about a day where she couldn’t stand to be around Karen, not when she’s been such a strong constant in her life, not when she’s come to realize how much she needed her. That would be a loss she could never recover from. So yes, she got where Karen was coming from. But still... “That’s no way to live, though. Never taking a chance on a sure bet.”

In the decades they’ve known each other, Grace could count the times she rendered Karen speechless on one hand. Even when it seemed like she did, Karen was usually so quick to change the subject that it felt like she always saw what was coming, like she was always prepared. So when she was actually able to rattle the unshakable Karen Walker, she felt a strange sense of pride over it all. Because she had the touch, she could get to Karen the way almost no one else could. It made her soar. Usually.

Now, though, she felt rooted to the bar stool, unsure of what to do now. She knew Karen felt what she did. There was no way to do everything they did, say everything they said, without realizing the truth: they were the surest bet either of them had ever come across. It didn’t make sense not to go all in. Grace could see it in her eyes, the way it all started to settle in. It looked like she was finally starting to give herself up to the thought of them. Grace hoped to god she was.

Karen pushed the celery in her drink aside so she could down the rest of its contents, resting the empty glass gingerly on the bar, without a trace of the triumph Grace usually saw in her when she finished her liquor. It was strange, seeing Karen so introspective, so quiet. Grace wished she would say something, anything, it didn’t matter what. As long as she could figure out what was truly going on in Karen’s head. She just wanted to hear that voice wrap itself around the thoughts that were clearly swimming inside of her.

And then as if Grace had willed it, Karen took a breath.

“Paris would be nice,” she said softly as she signaled the bartender for another round, harking back to their early morning conversation in bed. “For a little while, anyway. But eventually, I’d want to take you all over the world. Maybe some of those remote islands only the one percent knows about.” Like she was honestly entertaining the thought. Like she was starting to change her mind on keeping this confined to a hotel in Los Angeles. Like there was hope for them after all.

Maybe there was.

* * *

_**“So goodnight baby, kiss me now, don’t make me sad** _   
_**After midnight, promise we’ll never look back** _   
_**This shit is perfect, each second worth it** _   
_**Let’s save this love before we go and hurt it now** _   
_**Goodnight baby** _   
_**With stars in the sky, this is the perfect goodbye”** _

An hour to midnight. Grace had stopped thinking about the end long enough to enjoy her day with Karen. She had already moved her things from the suite to her own room so she wouldn’t have to say goodbye with armfuls of clothes and toiletries. And now, she was waiting for the clock to run out. There had to be something they could do to keep this alive. There had to be some loophole in their plan waiting to be found, waiting to give them everything they knew they wanted. Maybe she would be defiant, stay here past midnight. Maybe she would climb into Karen’s bed and refuse to get out of it. Maybe they would just never leave L.A. Maybe they would run away. Maybe they would hide in another part of Manhattan, some neighborhood that felt worlds away from the Upper West Side and from Karen’s cold Park Avenue manse.

Maybe, maybe, maybe…

Grace brought a glass of wine out onto the balcony and leaned against the rail as her mind began to race through possibilities she knew deep down could never come true. The late night breeze made her start to regret coming out here in the cotton shorts and tank top she had packed to sleep in, but she wasn’t about to go back inside, where thoughts of the end and its impossible alternatives could so easily bounce off the walls and cause more noise in her head than she could stand. At least out here, those thoughts had a chance to dissolve into the air.

But it didn’t change the fact that she was freezing out here.

Before she could wrap her arms around herself to try to keep warm, she heard the door to the balcony open behind her, and soon felt the silk of Karen’s robe envelope her as the dark haired woman’s arms slid around her body. “There you are,” Karen murmured as she pressed a kiss to Grace’s shoulder. “I thought maybe you had left me already.”

She knew Karen didn’t mean for it to cut the way it did. But after seeing that glimmer of what she swore was hope at the bar earlier today, Grace couldn’t help but feel it pierce through her chest. And she couldn’t help the words that followed, even though she told herself she wouldn’t put a voice to what was clearly going to happen tomorrow. “I can’t do this.”

Karen didn’t pretend like she didn’t know what Grace was talking about; they both knew they didn’t have enough time for that. “Honey, we talked about this…”

“I know we talked about it. I know we promised. But god, Karen...how am I supposed to pretend like you didn’t just change my entire world?” She took a deep breath, let it out in a long, dark sigh. “Look, maybe it would be different if we didn’t see each other every day. But you’re always here. And I love that about you, I really do. But how am I supposed to look at you from across the office, or across my dining table, or _wherever,_ and not want to rush over to you and feel you around me?” She started pacing around the balcony, putting some distance between them. “Maybe you’ll be able to put it behind you. But it won’t work that way for me.”

Silence. Such a heavy silence. Grace knew that it had only been a couple of days. But she would have thought that Karen would have at least tried to fight for them. Even if it ultimately led to nothing.

Well. Maybe this would make things better in the long run, knowing that this meant more to her than it did to Karen. That was usually how it went, anyway. She would feel more than her boyfriends did. She certainly felt more than Leo did, both times they married. She could just lump Karen in with everyone else, no matter that Karen was better than everyone else. She could do it. It would be fine.

But as she continued to lie to herself, she heard a small voice trying to grab her attention.

“Do you really think this is easy for me?”

Grace turned to face Karen, stunned. Wasn’t everything easy for her? Just shrug it off, move on to the next thing. Grace had seen her do it a million times before. What made this any different? “You always make it seem like it is,” she murmured. She wasn’t accusing Karen of anything when she said it. She just wanted to be proven wrong.

When Karen sighed, it sounded more defeated than defiant. “That’s because I’ve had a lot of practice pretending like I’m okay when everything is crumbling down around me. Good lord, you’ve been there for some of the worst times of my life; you should know this better than anyone.” She took one step closer, and then another, until she could take Grace’s hands in hers. “Honey, walking away from you is going to be the hardest thing I’ve ever done. You have no idea how long I’ve wanted this. There’s always been some part of me that thought we would end up here eventually.”

Just like that, the nerves that Grace had first experienced on this trip, the ones that led her to the bar, to Karen’s suite, to Karen’s bed, started fluttering to life. “Really?” she asked, not realizing how much she wanted it to be true.

“Of course. I mean, I always thought it would happen a lot sooner than this. But it never occurred to me that it wouldn’t happen.” Karen took a beat to study Grace’s eyes; Grace wondered if she could see that they carried as much sadness as hers did right now. “I’m so happy that it finally did. But I don’t want to get back to New York and realize that we can’t make it work. And there are so many reasons why we might not make it work.”

“If you’re thinking about Will, it’s nothing we can’t deal with.”

“Until it becomes too exhausting to fight against his opinion of us being together. Or maybe it won’t even be him. Maybe we’ll get home and realize that we were just in some kind of travel haze, that we weren’t ourselves here. Maybe you’ll realize that you were just trying something out someplace where no one would find out about it, and you’ll decide that it wasn’t really what you want for yourself.”

Grace gave the dark haired woman’s hands a squeeze and commanded her gaze. “Karen, you know that’s not what this is,” she said, soft but adamant. “I need you to know that’s not what this is.”

She could feel Karen running her thumbs against her skin the way she did that first day, at the bar, trying to soothe her when it only amplified everything. “Every single love I’ve ever had has been ruined at some point or another,” she said as if Grace hadn’t spoken at all. “All the good memories are spoiled because we end up resenting each other, or we end up hurting each other, accidentally or on purpose. I can’t stand the thought of doing that to you, to what we had here. You mean too much to me to do that. I want us to be able to look back on this and feel how good it was. Maybe someday, we can figure out how to be together in Manhattan. But not today. Probably not for a while. So can we please, _please,_ just be together now and savor the last few moments we have here? I don’t want this...this sadness to be the last thing we remember. I want a perfect goodbye.”

It took everything Grace had inside of her not to protest. She wanted to be selfish, wanted to convince Karen that they could make it past this trip, wanted to promise Karen forever even though she knew Karen would try to tell her that no one could ever promise that. But she thought about the way the dark haired woman had given her everything she never knew she needed over these last few days, and never once asked for anything in return. In some strange way, it felt like doing this now, agreeing to let go, was the least she could do.

Besides, she would be lying if she said she didn’t want a perfect goodbye, too, if they had to have any kind of goodbye at all. She couldn’t predict the future. For all she knew, Karen was right in some of her fears. Not the one where Grace decides it’s not what she wants. Never that one. But the others...she didn’t know. She couldn’t know. And she couldn’t stand the thought of losing even more of Karen than she already would be.

So she took a breath. And she conceded.

“You’re right. I’m sorry.” She slid into Karen’s arms and wrapped her own around her shoulders, holding on as tightly as she could.

“Gracie, don’t apologize. Just come inside. Warm up a bit. Help me finish that bottle of wine.”

Grace couldn’t help but offer the smallest smirk in an effort to lighten the mood. “As if you would ever need help finishing a bottle of wine.”

God, the way Karen’s eyes lit up when she let out her beautiful breathless laugh. It almost made it feel like everything was going to be okay. “There’s my girl,” she said before tugging on Grace’s hand and leading her inside.

They tried to make the best of the time they had left. They finished the wine, they made decent conversation. Karen held Grace close as they lounged on the couch, and Grace burrowed into Karen’s arms as if they could shield her from the inevitable. They fell into comfortable silences. They planted gentle kisses against each other’s necks, each other’s cheeks. They planted more passionate ones against each other’s lips, lingering for as long as they possibly could. They were together. It was perfect.

And then Grace’s phone buzzed against the coffee table, sounding off the alarm she forgot she set, so that she would know it was her time to go. They both stared at it at first, frozen in their places, unsure of what to do. But after a moment, Grace reached to grab it and turn off the alarm, feeling the weight of it against her palm. It was heavier than usual; she wasn’t surprised in the slightest. Slowly, she turned her gaze to Karen, saw the way her face had fallen, the way she was trying to hide it. It absolutely shattered Grace. But a promise was a promise.

“I...I guess I should…” Grace whispered, unable to truly say it.

Karen gave a small nod. “Yeah,” she whispered back. “It’s okay.”

It was a lie; they both knew it. But it wouldn’t do any good to call it what it was.

Grace got up, immediately felt Karen’s hand resting against the small of her back as she made her way towards the door. She slowed down her pace, wanting to get as much time with the dark haired woman’s touch as possible. She had her hand on the door knob, trying to find the strength to open the door and walk out. But she couldn’t do it. Instead, she turned to face Karen, and in one swift motion, pulled her close and brushed her lips sweetly, slowly against Karen’s. She heard her assistant sigh the way she had every time they kissed, felt the way Karen gently pressed her body against her own like she couldn’t stand to have any space between them. They stayed there for a moment, neither one of them making a move to break the kiss, as if they believed that if they pretended to freeze time long enough, they could actually do it.

God. Grace was only making this harder for both of them. She knew that. She tried not to care. But she was always such a terrible liar, even to herself. So she finally, reluctantly, started to pull away.

“‘Night, Cinderella,” Karen murmured against Grace’s skin. She let her touch travel down to the redhead’s heart, let it linger there for a moment. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” Casual, like there was still a chance. Delusional, because there was no way tomorrow would be as normal as Karen was making it sound. But Grace knew there was no way she could leave without that casual, delusional farewell. It made it seem like she could still be woken up with a kiss. It made it seem like they could still sneak away somewhere for one last rendezvous.

It made it hurt a little less when Karen opened the door for her to go.

The light of the hallway that was so dim at the beginning of this trip seemed so blinding now, a light at the end of a tunnel Grace didn’t want to escape from. She heard the door shut gently behind her and let out a breath she didn’t realize she was holding. She tried to move her feet even though they felt like lead, inching slowly towards the room she had abandoned. She didn’t look back as the distance grew. She didn’t try to backtrack. She simply kept going.

She couldn’t bear to count the steps it took to walk away from her.

**********

Grace woke up alone, in a hotel room she never used, forty-five steps away from where she knew she should be. For a brief moment, she couldn’t figure out where she was; she had been so used to the bigger room, to the bigger bed, to the woman who slept so peacefully on the other side of it, that she felt completely disoriented as her eyes fluttered open and her surroundings became clearer and clearer. And then the realization hit. And her heart sank.

She reached for her phone on the nightstand, took a look at the time. She had about half an hour before Karen checked them out of their rooms. She wondered what would happen if she simply refused to leave, if she pulled Karen in here and convinced her to stay, if they just pretended that they had more time, pretended hard enough so that it actually came true. They would be happier; she was sure of it. She never knew a happiness like the one she experienced over the last few days. She didn’t want to lose it.

Even though she knew she only had it because she promised she would give it away.

With a groan, she got out of bed and found a change of clothes that were clean and surprisingly unwrinkled from travel. She got dressed, placed her suitcase on top of the bed, and slowly packed all of her odds and ends, knowing she was stubborn for dragging her feet on even the smallest of tasks, knowing she didn’t care that she was. She was being selfish. But after knowing the way she fit perfectly inside Karen’s arms, after knowing the way Karen’s touch could instantly fill her, after knowing the way Karen made her feel safe and loved and protected, how could she possibly be okay with the withdrawal? And how was Karen okay with it?

Karen couldn’t be. She was a master at hiding her true feelings from the ones who didn’t deserve to know them, but you didn’t spend the kind of time they did and find yourself able to completely cut those ties and move on in an instant. It didn’t work like that. So maybe all they needed was one of them to speak up, point out how ridiculous they were being by ending it now. Because sure, the last few days were perfect, and sure, Grace didn’t want anything to come along and marr the memory. But who’s to say that anything will? And even if it was a possibility, weren’t they stronger than that? Couldn’t they weather it together? They had surely been through enough in their twenty-year friendship that could have broken them, and they always made it through to the other side. Why should this be any different?

It shouldn’t be. And Grace was going to say so.

She was fired up now, fueled by her own defiance of their rules. She was going to fight for them. She was going to come out victorious. They would be together, long after their plane touched down in New York. They would be. It was destined. She heard a knock on her door and couldn’t help but start grinning. This was her moment. She’d open the door to find Karen on the other side, state her case, show her assistant just how much she cared about her, about them.

When she opened the door, she saw that Karen couldn’t look her in the eye; her gaze was focused on the floor beneath her feet as she white knuckled the handle to her suitcase. “You ready to go?” she asked, short, clipped, the warmth in her voice that was there last night completely absent now, as though Grace had imagined hearing it in the first place. And Grace felt the world come crashing down around her, the fire of the fight extinguished immediately.

This was it. This was the end. They were done.

“Uh...yeah,” she eventually managed, trying to shake off the haze of disappointment. “Just let me finish getting my stuff from the bathroom.” She watched as Karen wheeled her suitcase into the room and let it come to rest by Grace’s bed before she turned to make her way to the bathroom. It wasn’t until she was through the doorway that she could feel Karen’s eyes on her. But it didn’t feel like it did before. She honestly couldn’t say what it felt like. She just knew that she hated it.

Grace scrambled to gather her makeup, her hairbrush, her toothpaste while her mind started racing too fast for her to catch it. This had to be an act. This had to be because Karen thought it was for their own good. Grace had seen her do a lot of questionable things to a lot of people over the years, but she had always known Karen to do right by her. Always in Grace’s corner. Even when she least expected it. It was what kept all of the quips about Grace’s hair and clothes and loser boyfriends from snowballing into something that would surely crush them. Grace was always Karen’s girl; there was never a time when Grace didn’t feel that. Until now.

She was sure this was just another example of Karen trying to do right by her. She just wished it didn’t feel so wrong.

When she came back to the bed, she found Karen focused on her phone, screen illuminating her solid poker face that didn’t even break for the startling sound of Grace’s toiletries crashing together in her suitcase as she dumped them in. She wanted Karen’s attention; she didn’t care how much it hurt. Just give her something to make this moment a little more tolerable. She could deal with the aftermath back home, when she could finesse it for Will and get some sympathy and comfort food out of it. But for now, just give her one more second where she felt like she was on top of the world.

As if she could read Grace’s mind, Karen looked up from her phone, and for a moment, Grace felt her hopes start to soar. But just as quickly, they crash landed as Karen motioned to her phone and the text conversation showing on her screen.

“Pilot’s good to go whenever we are,” the dark haired woman said flatly. “I’ll call a car for us.”

Grace nodded as Karen’s gaze shifted back to her phone. “Thank you,” she mumbled, unsure of what else she could possibly say. She zipped up her suitcase and pulled it off the bed, following Karen out of the room in silence.

The flight back to New York was excruciating, and Grace immediately started regretting letting Karen talk her into using her private plane. If they had just flown like normal people, there would have been distractions. Screaming children. In-flight movies. Things that could drown out the noise in her mind for six and a half hours. But here they were, Grace on one side of the plane, Karen on the other, refusing to talk, refusing to acknowledge the last few days, refusing to do anything. Grace couldn’t kill her thoughts, couldn’t put on a show like Karen seemed to be. For the longest time, she couldn’t stop looking across the aisle at her assistant, wanting to break the horrible spell they were under.

Yesterday, she pictured this flight going so differently. Breaking their Cinderella rule. Sitting next to each other, hand in hand. Letting their lips collide at 30,000 feet. Savoring the last bit of private time they would get before returning home. Swearing to each other that this moment, right now, was their real perfect goodbye, that last night was simply the practice run. Swearing that they would stop as soon as they landed. Realizing they would never be able to. That’s what this flight should have been.

Instead, somewhere over Colorado, she realized she couldn’t look at Karen without wanting to cry, and she turned to face the window so Karen wouldn’t see the tears starting to fall while she followed the clouds in the sky.

By the time they made it back to New York, Grace figured they would be going their separate ways at the airport, until Karen let her know that she would be stopping at Jack’s before she went back to the manse, and it just wouldn’t make sense for them to take separate cars if they were going to the same place. The redhead kept feeling the dark haired woman’s eyes on her off and on, throughout the seemingly endless journey back home. It wasn’t until they made it to Riverside Drive that Grace finally locked her eyes onto her assistant’s and saw the way her features had changed. Karen looked softer, sadder, like she realized she was being too hard on Grace and wanted to take it all back. They both knew that her intentions were good; it hurt like hell to want to reach for Karen across this growing distance between them, but Grace knew Karen’s heart was in the right place. It made Grace want to tell her that it was okay, that she understood.

Even though it wasn’t true. Even though it would never be true.

“Grace?”

She turned at the sound of Karen’s small voice, saw the way the dark haired woman was wringing her hands like she was nervous. God, she had never seen Karen nervous before. It was strange. It was stunning. It left her speechless. But that was okay; Karen picked up the slack.

“Thank you for bringing me with you.”

If this was the closest they were going to get to acknowledging everything, then Grace knew she had to find her voice. “I...I’m really glad you came.” And then, daring one more step, “I didn’t realize how much I needed you until we got there.”

This was the moment, if there ever was one. The one where they could go back on their word. The one where they could keep going. As long as someone spoke up. As long as someone refused to let go. It could be so easy to turn their backs on that stupid promise. It could be so easy to forgive each other for going back on their word. If only one of them would say something.

Karen drew a long breath, like she was trying to find her voice. And then she found it.

“Well...I’ll see you around, honey.”

Oh. Right.

It sounded quiet and a bit heartbroken, and Karen let it linger between them for a moment, as if she was waiting for Grace to grab her hand like she did at the start of the trip, and keep her from leaving without her. But even if Grace wanted to do that (and good _god,_ she wanted to do that), she was rooted to the floor, unable to move, struggling against the gravity of their reality. So Karen gave her a smile as she tried and failed to mask her sadness, faced the door of 9A, turned the knob and found that it was unlocked, waiting for her arrival.

And then she was gone.


	3. Now

_ Now _

“Sweetie?”

Grace jumped back into reality at the sound of Will’s voice, trying to shake the wide-eyed look she was certain she had. She wondered how long her memories had taken her out. She wondered if she had accidentally given anything away. Maybe she had sighed at the thoughts running through her mind. Maybe her features had twisted as they became more vivid. Maybe she had just stood there stone faced, checked out, able to blame the late hour and long flight on her mood (she really hoped that was it). But whatever the case, she knew that when he asked the inevitable question, she would have to make the answer she didn’t have sound convincing enough to pass for the truth.

“There you are,” he said softly, a cautious, concerned smile starting to play on his face. “Where did you go just now?”

Quick. Manage a smile. Try to brighten up your eyes. Do anything to keep him from figuring it out. “Nowhere,” she managed after a beat. “I’m right here. I’m just tired, that’s all.” She leaned in to hug him, hoping to make up for her odd behavior in the smallest way. “I promise I’ll tell you all about the conference in the morning. I just really want to get into bed and try to get some sleep.” She pressed a quick kiss to his cheek before pulling away from his hold. “I’ll see you later, okay?”

She needed him to let it go. She just wasn’t sure if he would. She wasn’t giving him anything he wanted, she wasn’t playing along the way she always did after a work trip. She figured he was going to press her until she spilled something, anything, just to make waking up in the middle of the night worth it. But finally (thankfully), Will relented. “Sure. Go rest. I’ll trade you coffee for your stories in the morning. Although I’m sure everything was perfect.”

Grace started to walk towards her bedroom, but not before giving him one solitary speck of truth. “Yeah,” she exhaled as she moved to face him. “It really was.” And then she quickly turned her back to him so he wouldn’t see the tears that were starting to sting her eyes.

Once she closed her door behind her, she let out a sigh as she threw her suitcase on the bed. She paced around her room, arms wrapped around herself as she realized she wouldn’t be able to get to sleep tonight, not when everything about Los Angeles was still burning in her mind. Not when even the moonlight spilling into her room through the window made her think about that hotel room, about the early morning hours when her eyes fluttered open while Karen’s stayed peacefully closed, falling back asleep to the knowledge that this was where they both wanted to be. The way the room was bathed in deep blue and the way she shifted ever so slightly on the mattress to get a look at Karen, because she didn’t want to wake her up. The way those dark locks were tousled against porcelain skin. The way Karen looked so perfect when she was free of makeup, so peaceful when she was sleeping next to her. The way she wondered how anyone would dare to do anything that would jeopardize their chance to be able to see Karen like this. The way she swore to herself she wouldn’t be like them.

The way she didn’t realize that what would jeopardize her chance to see Karen like this was the promise she made so that she could see in the first place.

Grace missed her already, missed the world they created, missed the connection they shared, missed the way she felt complete for the first time in her life. This was crazy; she knew that. It was insane for someone to waltz in and totally change your life the way Karen did, in the course of a few days.

But that was the thing, wasn’t it? Karen didn’t just waltz into her life a few days ago. Karen had been her surprising, fiercely loyal constant for twenty years. She was always there. She would always be there, even after a trip like theirs that could so easily end a friendship; of that, Grace was certain. They were close in a way that Grace had never been close with anyone. It was almost like she was waiting for Grace to realize what they meant to each other.

So maybe it wasn’t crazy that Karen changed her life the way she did in L.A. Maybe it was crazy that it took this long for it to happen.

Still, all the craziness in the world didn’t change the fact that Grace was now here, alone, with Karen just a few steps away and absolutely nothing she could do about it.

Eventually, she opened her suitcase, digging into the crumpled mess of worn clothes to find the pajamas she had packed, the ones Karen pulled from her hotel room to wear in the suite, even though Karen hardly gave her a chance to wear them. But at this point, she would take any shred of proof that they had been together, no matter how small, no matter how much of a stretch it was to actually call it proof. They had to be in here somewhere; she did a sweep of her hotel room after throwing everything she brought with her back into her suitcase, and was positive she didn’t leave anything behind. She could hear Will’s lecture now, the one about how you should always have a system for packing so you can keep track of everything you brought with you. She never thought to actually put that into practice before. But now, she was getting angrier and angrier at herself for never listening to her best friend. She was coming up empty every time she dug into her suitcase, becoming more and more frantic in her movements until her fingers brushed against a piece of fabric that made her breath hitch as she froze in place.

Because underneath her balled up cotton/poly blends and discount ensembles was the pink silk robe Karen wore throughout their trip, folded up neatly among the chaos of her own clothes.

Impossible. There was no way this could have ended up in here. She didn’t steal it when Karen wasn’t looking. She didn’t pack up her suitcase in Karen’s suite, so she couldn’t have accidentally thrown it in with her own things. How the hell did this end up in here?

And then she remembered Karen walking into her hotel room, waiting for her to finish packing so they could get to the plane. She remembered going into the bathroom to finish getting ready, leaving the dark haired woman to her own devices in the main space. She remembered deliberately taking her time so that this trip could stretch over as much time as it possibly could. It would have given Karen enough time to pull the robe from her own bag and slip it into Grace’s without the redhead realizing it, planting her own betrayal of their promise to each other, her own little breadcrumb trail leading Grace home. She could see it so clearly in her mind, coming into work with the robe in her tote, pulling it out when her assistant strolled into the office in the afternoon, trying to be playful with the presentation, a smirk and an  _ “I believe this is yours” _ to hide the fear of rejection, the wry look on Karen’s face as she told her there was no way she could keep her distance after everything they shared, that she needed to do something to make sure they found their way back to each other. Grace wanted it more than anything, to feel Karen’s hands on her again, to taste her when their lips met. To know that they were meant for more than what they so foolishly promised.

She couldn’t believe that a robe was the thing that told her they were. But she’d take it. She’d take anything as long as it told her what she needed to hear. This was a message. This was a sign. This was the proof she was looking for. Karen didn’t want to let go. And if Karen didn’t want to, Grace wasn’t about to, either.

It was that simple.

Grace changed out of her clothes before unfolding the robe, watching the silk drop like a luxurious waterfall, and draping it around her bare skin. She felt a wave of calm wash over her as she wrapped the fabric around her, losing herself to the feeling of Karen being near her without really being near her. She dragged her suitcase to the floor, pulled back the covers and climbed into bed, positive that the robe would be enough to keep her warm. And as her mind was put at ease by possibility and she waited for sleep to take her into the morning, she felt hopeful about tomorrow. Tomorrow, she was going to act, she was going to tell Karen that she didn’t care about changing dynamics, about Will and Jack’s inevitable judgment, about keeping the peace. Tomorrow, the nerves that once stopped her were going to fuel her. Tomorrow, she would kiss Karen, and tomorrow, Karen would kiss her back. Tomorrow, they were going to pick up right where they left off.

Tomorrow, she was going to break her promise. Because it was what they deserved. Because it was what they needed. Because what happened in L.A. should happen in New York. Because she knew she would not feel at peace until this piece of her soul was returned to her.

Because she refused to say goodbye to any part of Karen Walker.


End file.
